Head Trip
by Simply Sarah
Summary: UPDATED After 10 Months! Ch. 4: When You're Gone. A head trip: a dream; an intellectually stimulating experience; an exploration of one's own thoughts and feelings. DL. Please read. Additional genres: mystery suspence.
1. Prologue

**A/N: Yes, this is a new story and if you read the latest chapter of my story **_**Discovering**__**Us**_**, this was the story I said I was working on. Also, to anyone reading **_**DU**_**, I am working on the next chapter and I'll be posting progress I make in it on my profile when I remember to. **

**This is a different concept and this is just the prologue, but I'll explain a bit more at the end. **

**On a side note, I got back from the dentist five and a half hours ago and I still can't feel my upper lip. I look a mess and feel like it too. And it was only my third of five dentist appointments this summer. On a positive note though, after the dentist and the nitrous oxide finally wears off, I seem to usually feel like writing and hopefully it's turning out well. **

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**Head Trip: a dream; an intellectually stimulating experience; an exploration of one's own thoughts and feelings**

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**Prologue **

Time travel is impossible. There's no such thing as ghosts. Miracles don't happen. Nothing of a supernatural nature exists. That was what he always believed, but as he began his junior year of high school life would prove him wrong.

It was the second day of the new school year and it happened, he went back in time. He went back to the day that she left. He swore he never thought about her, he didn't keep in touch, and he most definitely didn't care about her. But that second night of school he was with her. He dreamt of her, a dream that felt unbelievably real, and it was his entire last day with her exactly the way it had occurred.

Though it was late May and sunny it was unusually cool for southern California weather. He didn't know she was leaving, he didn't know that this day would be the last time he saw her, so he treated her the same as he did every other day.

"Butch," he greeted her as he sat down across from her for breakfast with their friends who were slowly trickling in.

"Logana," she returned out of habit barely acknowledging him as she continued to pick at her muffin.

Nicole, Zoey, and Chase sat down. Nicole and Zoey sat on either side of her and Chase in between Zoey and him. Seriously, he had told Chase he wasn't at all interested, but if he was ever in the slightest proximity to Zoey Chase got all freaked out. It probably didn't help much that he usually tried to get close to Zoey because Chase's jealous reaction, without ever actually taking any action, amused him greatly.

"I'm going to miss you guys so much. I'm totally going to call everyone everyday," Nicole rambled and he thought that he was definitely going to need to screen his calls over the summer. It wasn't that he didn't like Nicole, he just didn't like her enough to listen to her everyday, or week. Plus, who could possibly have enough time to listen to her. Even now as his mind was wandering to what girls in his neighborhood he had yet to make out with, Nicole was still talking.

He glanced around the table and his eyes landed on her. She was shaking her head at her roommate, but writing down all of her contact information anyway so they could keep in touch. He was surprised. He knew they didn't always get along, and frankly he didn't think she was the type that would ever let anyone get closer to her. And here she was, doing something to let the rambling brunette in. Maybe it was just him…maybe he was the only one she didn't want to be around.

Zoey had written down her information in Nicole's notebook she was passing around and Chase was just staring at it. Logan rolled his eyes and muttered so Chase could hear, and probably Michael considering he was just to his other right while Chase was to his left, "Either just copy it or ask her for it. Some of us wanna get putting fake numbers in there over with."

Chase simply glared at Logan, quickly wrote down his information, and passed the notebook to Logan. As Logan said he would do he wrote down fake numbers and made all of his fives look like they could be eights so he was well covered with excuses as to why he couldn't be reached.

Logan was pretty sure everyone was talking about their summer plans, but he wasn't actually sure since he completely zoned out. It wasn't that he didn't have any interest in what his friends were saying, but for the last week they had been having this same conversation. Though, now that everyone was suddenly standing and picking up their empty trays, Logan realized that it had been so long since he had paid attention to this repetitive conversation that he couldn't remember what anyone said they would be doing over the summer. Oh well, if someone actually mentioned something important he would have remembered. She hadn't mentioned anything at all; that, he definitely remembered. Not that he listened when she talked or had an interest in her or anything.

Logan, Chase, and Michael had their room pretty much packed the day before so Logan just sat around playing a video game for a couple of hours trying to keep occupied while he waited for five in the evening to arrive when he would finally be picked up for the summer. Chase and Michael weren't supposed to leave until late afternoon, but they were hanging out with the girls who apparently needed help with last minute packing, but Logan wasn't the volunteer type, nor was he the agree to help when asked type.

In the early afternoon Logan remembered that he needed to go pick up his last paycheck from Kazu. He blew off work pretty often and he only got the job because his parents asked him why his grades were so low and he said his job had been taking up his time. Then his parents wanted to talk to his boss so he had to get a job so they could have an employer to talk to. But delivering sushi wasn't at all bad. Hot girls ordered sushi and he absolutely didn't mind knocking on their doors. He also took tips in other forms than cash.

On his way to Sushi Rox Logan got distracted a few times by some former flavors of the days who once again caught his attention, but eventually he made it there. Kazu was going to close for the summer so when Logan went in he wasn't surprised by all the chairs stacked on the tables and the fact that it didn't at all smell like food since none had recently been prepared. What did surprise Logan was that she was there and Kazu was hugging her. They pulled away and Kazu noticed Logan. Since he knew why Logan was there, Kazu said, "I've got your paycheck. It's kind of low since you've been blowing off your shifts, but I'll go get it." Kazu gave her a pat on the shoulder and muttered something that Logan couldn't hear from across the room. She said something back and they both smiled. Then Kazu went into the back, presumably to retrieve Logan's paycheck.

As she turned towards Logan her smile disappeared instead forming a glare. She walked towards him since he was near the door and she wanted to leave.

He wasn't going to just let her go though. He questioned, "Got an older man fetish Anna Nicole?"

She kept approaching, not at all intimidated. "I was just saying goodbye so you don't have to over work your tiny little brain coming up with lame quips," she said as she finally came to a stop just in front of him and patted his head to add to her belittling attempt.

He ignored her insult, stuck too much on the first thing she said. "Saying goodbye?" he questioned because she never seemed like the sentimental type or even like she got along with the sentimental type.

If he wasn't in front of the door she could have just walked right past him without even replying, but he was. She sighed agitated and replied, "Yeah, I say goodbye to the people I like. Notice how I haven't sought you out and move now because I'm already late."

That stung a bit. He could have seen it coming given their history of fighting and pretty much nothing else, but still, it hurt. Maybe that it was a sort of rejection and he wasn't at all used to that, but it wasn't like he was going to let her know that he cared about what she said or that he was even going to admit it to himself later. For now he dealt with it the same way he dealt with most things, he let his ego take charge. He took a step closer to her, close enough that she could surely feel his breath on her cheek as he whispered in a tone that he seemed to think was sexy, "How about we say goodbye my way?" He stared at her lips, while his tongue unconsciously flicked out to lick his own lips. What he wanted to do was obvious; it was what he always wanted to do.

His hand reached out to caress a curl that was near the base of her neck, but she hit his hand away as she replied, "It didn't happen all year and it's not happening now." She stepped around him and opened the door. Instead of just leaving she paused and turned back to him. She said, "Maybe I'll see you around sometime Logan."

The sun was softly lighting her up from behind. It was like she was glowing. She looked beautiful and in an instant the door shut and she was gone, gone forever he would later find out. And he was left to ponder her final words as Kazu emerged from the back with his paycheck.

His mind returned to her and that brief moment while she stood in the doorway. The light of the sun was so bright behind her not only making her look luminous, but almost like when she turned around and walked off it would be towards a bright white light. And she had the smallest form of a smile, the corners of her mouth ever so slightly tilted upward as she said, "Maybe I'll see you around sometime Logan."

Logan awoke with a start, suddenly sitting upright in his bed with his eyes wide open.

"You alright?" Chase asked from across the room at the closet where he was grabbing clothes to change into for the day. Logan's head snapped to him, suddenly noticing he was in the room. The sun flooded in their windows and he noticed that the clock said seven and his alarm would be going off in ten minutes.

But today was the fifth day back at school and the third time he had awoken from that same dream. The dream of his last day with her, a day that took place over two years ago. And it was exactly the same for the last three days. The dream would always end when she left and only after he had replayed her leaving, her last words, the closest thing to a goodbye he had from her.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Logan replied, but he wasn't at all alright. For three nights he had dreamt of her. Every dream felt so real it was like if he pinched himself in them he would have actually felt it. But he always suddenly awoke and found that she had actually been gone for over two years and that was truly the way things were left with her.

Logan rose from his bed and got ready for another day, but his night would be far more interesting than his day. For when he would fall asleep later that night, praying for a peaceful dreamless slumber and deep down hoping that she would be there again, that he'd be tortured by that day again so he could simply see her again, he would find that one small detail of the dream would change and cause another to change. He may have been dreaming the same dream of their last day for three nights, but he would never dream the same thing again. Yet she would always be in his dreams and he would later realize that what was more important than why his dream was changing was why he was dreaming of her at all.

Logan would dream of Dana Cruz every night after the second night of his junior year, but he wasn't being haunted by regret, he would find it to have a much greater purpose in both their lives.

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**A/N: Super short for me, I know. But chapters shouldn't be much longer and absolutely not as long as **_**Discovering Us'**_** chapters. **

**Anyway, this story and the purpose of Logan's dreams is not simply to get Dana and Logan together. I don't want to give anything away, but I will say that Dana needs Logan to figure out what the purpose is. This whole story is sort of a process for Logan, he needs to learn and experience certain things before he can even start to figure out the purpose the dreams have or realize that they have a purpose at all. So the pace will seem slow at times and quick at others. Dreams will consume most chapters and, as usual with my stories, everything has a purpose so pay attention. If something in a dream changes, it changes for a reason. **

**Well, I'll stop rambling. I hope you enjoyed the story and please let me know if you did and if you'd like it to continue. And let me know if it wasn't clear where the dream began and ended.**

**Please leave any thoughts!**

**Thank you for reading!**

**-Sarah**


	2. 1: A Worst Case Scenario

**A/N: **I had some time to write and what came out was this chapter instead of anything for everything else I'm working on hence this got updated.

**Thank you again to those of you who reviewed!**

And I really don't like the summary for this story so any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. What I just changed it to is just temporary and if you like it better then maybe not, but I'm still not happy with it.

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**Chapter One: A Worst Case Scenario**

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Logan was a bit anxious as he lied in bed. For three nights he had dreamt of Dana. Every single detail was always the same, every detail of her. He wondered why he remembered so many things about her and how she looked on that last day. She was wearing a rather tight white t-shirt that said in black letters, "Are you trying to piss me off?" And her black mini skirt flared out a bit so that it flowed with her when she walked. Of course she was wearing her black converse, she wore them almost the entire year. And her hair, the hair that would get lit up at the very end of the dream, for the last moment he saw her, was in it's usual curls and just down. It was funny how he suddenly seemed to remember every detail about her and yet on the fifth day of school, fourth day of classes, he hadn't even memorized his class schedule.

Eventually Logan drifted off to sleep and found something new awaiting him.

Logan found himself back in May, two years, three months and twelve days ago. He was at the day she left again. It was sunny yet cool and he was approaching the table, where she momentarily sat alone, again. But this time when he reached the table he didn't draw attention to himself by calling her "Butch" like he actually did. Instead Logan took Dana's muffin away from her just as she was about to pick it up from her tray. This wasn't unusual for Logan to do. He liked to steal her food, it made her angry.

"Hey," Dana said angrily as she grabbed his hand and ripped her muffin back from him. She set it back down on her tray, but decided to get some pay back and took his orange too.

Nicole, Zoey, and Chase arrived and separated them essentially making the food stealing stop. Logan sat in his seat and tried to move on eating his breakfast. But she had his orange, she was winning. He wasn't even planning on eating the orange; he was going to take it with him for later, which in all previous dreams and in reality when the day occurred that was exactly what he did. He brought the orange with him and ate it on the car ride home.

At some point during his sulking Michael had arrived and Nicole had started her "I'm going to miss you guys so much" speech. But as Nicole went to hand Dana her notebook for everyone to write down their contact information in, Dana was pealing the orange she had stolen. On the actual day she was picking at a muffin, but now her hands were sticky with juice from the orange and it prompted her to say, "My hands are a mess."

"Right," Nicole agreed and passed her notebook to Michael on her other side thus sending it around the table in the opposite direction. Logan wrote the same fake and muddled numbers in it, but didn't have to say anything to Chase since Zoey's information wasn't in there for him to stare at.

When the notebook got around to a now clean handed Dana she looked at it, looked up at Logan, quickly wrote down her information, looked back up and said, "You're going to have to have Logan write his down again since all of his fives could also be eights and because this is definitely not his number."

"How would you know? You don't know my number," Logan returned.

"Because your 'fake' area code is actually my area code…in Ohio," Dana answered triumphantly.

With everyone looking at him expectantly just waiting for him to give in, Logan finally did, "Fine, I'll write down my real numbers." But he didn't. He just put in his real area code this time.

Instead of zoning out during the "what everyone's doing over summer break" conversation, Logan was preoccupied with thoughts of how incredibly annoyed he was with Dana. He was definitely going to have to get her back before they left. Though he didn't have any ideas for what his revenge would be, Logan figured being around her would probably be necessary. So this time when the girls asked him if he would help them pack as Chase and Michael had volunteered, he actually agreed to.

By noon Nicole's parents had arrived and everyone was supposed to be helping by carrying boxes to the car, but Logan got an idea and lagged behind everyone. Once everyone was out of sight Logan quickly re-opened one of the packed boxes that was marked as Dana's and started going through it. Logan's genius idea was that he would find something embarrassing and then embarrass her with it. Okay, so not really genius, but it was the first thing he came up with.

Unfortunately for Logan the box he randomly opened just contained clothes. Among them was a rather tiny black bikini, but that wasn't embarrassing, though Logan did decide it was definitely hot. As he was starting to think rifling through the box was hopeless Logan felt something thick and wool. He pulled it out and found it to be a hand knit light pink sweater with a unicorn stitched on the front, yep that would work.

He smirked and quickly hid the sweater behind his back as everyone re-entered the room to grab more boxes.

"So nice of you to help Logan," Zoey said sarcastically as she picked up another one of Nicole's boxes. She really brought way too many things to school because it was going to be at least on more trip for everyone before all of her things were gone.

Logan ignored Zoey and held up the sweater in front of him as he said, "Gee Cruz, this is one…attractive sweater."

Dana was absolutely livid. Logan was crossing a very big line and he didn't even know it. Dana walked up to him, grabbed the sweater from his hands, and literally slapped the smirk off of his face. He was smirking because he thought she was embarrassed and therefore he won. But she slapped him hard across his left cheek, a loud smack resounding in the room, because she was upset not embarrassed. She tried to keep an even tone as she said with a gesture to the sweater in her hand, "This, was the last thing my grandmother made for me before she died three months ago over spring break. Despite the fact that I'd never actually wear it, I brought it back with me because I wasn't ready to let her go yet." Tears were threatening to fall from her eyes, but the last thing she was going to do was let Logan Reese see her cry. She changed topics and said before quickly exiting with the sweater still in her hand, "But really Logan, thank you for reminding me why I'm really glad that I'm never coming back here."

Never coming back? What the hell? Logan looked at everyone around him. They had been stunned when Dana hit him, but when she told him that she was leaving they knew he didn't know. They were looking down, avoiding his questioning glances so he had to ask, "She's leaving?"

Chase was the first one to finally meet his eyes as he replied, "Her parents signed her up for the exchange program. Starting next fall she'll be in Paris."

"For how long?" Logan asked, though he was oddly terrified to hear the answer.

"The way her parents are talking, she's pretty sure it's going to be all of high school," Chase replied since no one else seemed to want to answer.

Before he could stop himself, Logan said, "And she told all of you but not me?" He knew it was a stupid thing to say. Given their history and this moment now, it made sense why she didn't tell him, but he wasn't thinking and he said it anyway.

Zoey seemed to finally find her voice angrily pointing out to him what he was aware of, but ignored when he asked the question. "Does that really surprise you given what you just did to her? This, you being a jerk to her and everyone really, isn't new. And you're never sorry. Why would she tell you? You treat her like she doesn't matter why should she treat you like you do?" Zoey was practically yelling, but stopped when Chase laid a hand on her shoulder. Somehow he always had that claming and distracting effect on her.

Chase gently steered Zoey out of the room and Nicole, Michael, and Quinn followed. Chase had decided Logan didn't need to hear everything he already knew. Plus he was hoping that maybe Logan would actually feel guilty if he was left alone with his thoughts.

It worked. Logan quickly realized that he felt like a complete bastard. He didn't feel bad for some of the stuff he had done like constantly asking Dana to make out because her being hot just made that necessary. And he didn't feel bad for occasionally stealing her food because as earlier that morning showed, she was capable of winning those little battles. And he didn't really feel bad for some of the names he had called her because she always called him a name in return; she even started some of them. Even though he decided he couldn't possibly have known about the sweater or her grandmother, he did feel horrible about it. She was leaving forever and he felt like he didn't know her at all. But why did he want to know her? She was just a girl, right? He decided that the weird feeling in the pit of his stomach had to be guilt and once he apologized he could get rid of it. So Logan went in search of Dana to apologize.

The problem with searching for a girl that you just found out you don't actually know at all, is that you have no idea where to look for her. Logan tried all the most logical places first such as the girls lounge, outside the building hoping that she was too lazy to go too far, and the cafeteria because maybe he made her depressed and she was one of those girls that stuffed their faces when depressed.

Five o'clock, the time he would be picked up, seemed to be fast approaching and he still hadn't found her. He should have been in his room getting together the last of his things, but remembering that to get picked up one would have to go to the front of the school Logan decided he needed to head to the front of the school because then he would surely see her whenever she left.

Logan got to the front of the school just in time. In the parking lot he could see a cab driver putting the last of Dana's belongings in the trunk and her getting ready to climb in the backseat. He ran to catch her because he needed this feeling that was gnawing at him to go away. He got to her just as she was about to put her foot in the car and climb in.

Logan was huffing and puffing and before he could say anything she said, "Don't. Just don't Logan. I know you're going to say you're sorry, but we both know you're not because you never have been before. To be sorry you'd have to have a conscious and you don't. Just let me go." She got in the car and he let go of the door he had been holding thinking that he'd actually hang on to it and delay her from leaving. But he had released the door and he couldn't seem to speak. "Goodbye Logan," she said with absolutely no emotion before telling the driver to go.

And that was it. She was gone. He let her go. Why did he let her go? She just…she seemed hurt. And he didn't want to hurt her anymore so he did what she wanted, he let her go. He watched the cab get further away until he couldn't see it anymore as it drove off into the setting sun and the gnawing feeling in his stomach continued.

Logan's eyes shot open. The room was still dark and according to the clock it was three in the morning. He lifted his hand to his left cheek. For a second he could have sworn it was actually sore. But that was impossible just like the dream and absolutely everything about it couldn't possibly have been true. Like, her grandmother didn't die over spring break, right? And everyone else was in the dark about her leaving too, right? This just didn't make any sense. Why was the day different now? Well, if nothing else at least now he knew that having a goodbye could have been far worse than not having one. Not every goodbye is a good goodbye.

The next day in first period life sciences with Zoey, Logan's curiosity got the better of him. He whispered to her as the teacher had his back turned, "Hey, do you remember Dana Cruz?"

"You mean my roommate for a year? No," Zoey replied hassling him slightly just because he gave her the opportunity.

Logan ignored the sarcasm and continued, "Did her grandmother die over spring break eighth grade year?"

Zoey seemed surprised as she answered, "Yeah, she did. I can't believe you remember that. I mean, we did talk about it for the entire week after we came back, but I never thought you were listening because you rarely do."

If Zoey was still talking Logan didn't notice. He also had no idea what the handout was that was suddenly on top of his desk because he was too caught up in Zoey's answer. Yesterday, before the dream, he absolutely did not remember anything about Dana's grandmother dying. He did not know it had happened and then it was in the dream and it was real and that was insane. What was going on?

Logan knew two things. First, the dreams were absolutely not normal. And second, he was glad that his last day with her did not have the same goodbye as the previous night's dream because he could still vividly recall what the gnawing feeling felt like and the last two years would have been even worse if he had to live with it. What he didn't know was that the next dream would only bring more change and everything was only going to get more complicated.

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**A/N: Alright, I'll beg. Please, please, please, please, please leave your thoughts. **

**Next chapter title (probably): A Meaningless Kiss**

**Thank you for reading!**

**-Sarah**


	3. 2: A Meaningless Kiss

**A/N: I intended to have this up last week and be further along on updating Discovering Us, but last week ended up being a pretty horrible week. Luckily **_**Harry**__**Potter**_** and my new camera helped me escape and move on from last week. So, as soon as I felt up to writing again unfortunately I had to spend another day at the dentist, but I managed to get this done anyway. I'm working on Discovering Us, I promise. Since working on this too thought, updates for this should come much quicker because chapters are so much shorter. So I could make the same amount of progress in each story, but this could get update before that does. I hope that makes sense. It did in my head but the effects of the nitrous oxide may be lingering. **

**Thank you to the wonderful people who reviewed. You were certainly the bright spot in my bad week. **

**And finally, on to the chapter...**

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**Chapter Two: A Meaningless Kiss**

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It was Friday night, the night after dream with the bad goodbye and Logan drank a little more caffeine than he normally did. He didn't even usually drink a lot of soda, instead preferring Gatorade and Vitamin Water, but at almost midnight he had his fourth can of soda that day. He didn't want to go to sleep; he didn't want to have that dream again. He already couldn't get the image of her looking hurt out of his mind and the feeling of guilt out of his stomach; he didn't want to relive it again. 

After hours of sitting in bed and listening to the not so quiet snores of his roommates, Logan finally fell asleep.

He was at that same cool day in May again and walking towards her sitting alone at their usual table again. This time he paid attention to her as he walked towards her. She seemed to be dazedly staring at her tray of food. Originally he had walked over noticing the empty spots at the table, but today with his focus on her, noticing her distant state, he didn't even think to start off by calling her one of the many names he had always used.

"Dana," he greeted as he sat down. It wasn't particularly friendly for a greeting, but actually using each other's first names was a lot nicer than they usually were to each other.

She eyed him a bit curiously, not used to hearing her first name spill from his lips and wondering why he decided to use it now. But since he was willing to be civil it seemed, she did the same acknowledging him with, "Logan."

She kept her gaze on him as the first three of their friends joined them, trying to figure out if he was up to something with his sudden niceness. He had started eating his scrambled eggs, but he could feel her stare and he looked up. Their eyes met and held each other for a second before being interrupted by Nicole proclaiming, "I'm going to miss you guys so much. I'm totally going to call everyone everyday."

Dana's attention had gone to her roommate, but Logan's lingered on her for a few seconds longer before he forced himself to return his attention to his breakfast and his quickly cooling eggs.

Logan actually listened to the breakfast conversation this morning. After Nicole had finished her rant about how awful it was going to be to be apart for the summer and how miserable she was going to be back in Kansas, Michael excitedly talked about how his dad was finally going to let him work in one of the auto repair garages they owned. Zoey would be spending her summer watching Dustin while their parents were at work, which she didn't mind, but Dustin kept complaining that he was old enough that he didn't need to be looked after.

Eventually, as they were all getting up and walking to the nearest trashcans to clear and leave their trays, the part finally came where the girls mentioned that they would all be hurrying to finish packing before they were picked up. Chase and Michael immediately offered their help and Logan suddenly found himself saying, "Yeah, I'll help too."

Where did that come from? Logan wasn't sure. He was just dumping the contents of his tray into the garbage can and everyone was around and talking and he just said it, not thinking. As he placed his tray on top of the stack of trays he missed a few curious looks, but he had offered to help and since they needed it, he wasn't questioned.

No one really cared enough to figure out why he was actually doing something nice, no one except Dana who had thought he was acting weird all morning. As the gang proceeded to the girls' dorm room she grabbed his arm. Logan stopped, looked at her, looked down at his arm she was holding, and looked back up questioningly. Once the gang was a few steps away and didn't seem to notice their absence, Dana roughly released his arm and demandingly questioned, "What are you up to?"

"Nothing," Logan replied easily because he really didn't have anything planned. Sure, actually helping other people pack was not how he planned to spend his day, but there were worse ways to spend a day.

Dana shook her head disbelievingly, "Yeah, I'm gonna believe that after you've been acting all nice all morning. It's obvious you want something so why don't you just get it over with and ask for whatever."

Logan really didn't know what she was talking about, but she did provide him with an opportunity and he never let those slip by. He replied, "Now that you mention it there is actually something I'd like. How about you make out with me?"

Dana's eyes immediately rolled at the tired line. "How many times am I going to have to say no before you finally stop asking?" Dana whined, almost begging.

Logan smirked and said, "Well let's find out. Wanna make out?"

"It's like talking to a wall," Dana said frustrated rubbing her temples.

"Do that often?" was Logan's quick retort.

Dana's eyes thinned, she glared at him. She reached out, hit him upside the head, and turned around and walked back to her dorm room.

Logan followed a few steps behind her. Helping the girls pack might be more fun than he thought since it seemed his mere presence was going to cause Dana great annoyance, and annoying her was his favorite activity.

Logan was wrong. The girls were barely packed at all and there was a lot of work to do. Suddenly Dana disappeared for a while in the afternoon and Logan was left listening to Chase not flirt with Zoey. He didn't get it. Clearly Chase liked Zoey, yet he spent the entire year not making a move on her. Logan hit on just about every girl because he liked all of them, well, he liked them enough to have some fun and that was all he was ever looking for.

After a while Zoey and Chase's conversation actually became helpful to Logan. They had been talking about the things they were going to miss over the summer and Zoey said she was going to miss Kazu's sushi. Nicole had already left and Michael was momentarily helping Quinn with a particularly heavy box, so when Logan started to head for the door Chase and Zoey were easily able to notice.

"Where are you going?" Zoey asked.

"Get my pay check," Logan answered. He didn't think he needed to tell them, but it was their last day and if neither of them were there when he came back, walking out without responding would have been a bad way to leave things.

"I didn't know you were ever showing up for work anymore," Chase commented, not able to remember a time when Logan was working since the web cam fiasco.

"I showed up for like half a shift last week," Logan replied defensively and told them he'd be back in a few.

As Logan entered Sushi Rox he found Dana heading for the door he just came through.

From the back of the room Kazu shouted, "I'll go find your check."

Logan stayed in front of the door because he knew she would want out and it was his second good opportunity of the day. She was in front of him now, waiting for him to move out of the way. He crossed his arms, showing her he was staying put. She wasn't surprised; Logan always took advantage of an opportunity to be annoying. She put her hands on her hips because she need out and she knew that meant she'd be arguing her way out.

"So?" Dana prompted since he had yet to ask for anything to let her pass or tell her why he wasn't just letting her go.

Logan smirked and asked cockily, "Wanna make out?"

Dana laughed at the predictability of his response and commented, "I'm definitely not going to miss that incredibly tired and overused line."

"Yeah you will. You'll come back here in the fall missing it so much that you'll be asking me. You're going to regret all your 'no's'," Logan said confidently.

"No I won't and I'm not going to be back in the fall," Dana let slip.

Not coming back, but just in the fall or never again? Wait, he couldn't ask anything like that because then she might think he cared and of course he didn't. Logan tried to joke, because he couldn't actually let it matter, "Are your parents afraid you're going to get into trouble here or something?"

"They know I will," Dana returned with a mischievous smirk. She was glad he didn't say anything…serious. She was never one for mushy goodbyes, not that she expected anything like that with Logan, but it was why she made the girls promise to act like she was coming back in the fall-the goodbye wouldn't be as bad.

Logan raised an eyebrow. That was…hot. And it didn't surprise him. Her rebellious streak was his favorite thing about her. Not that he liked her or anything…just, well, he supposed he had come to like some aspects.

"Ask me again," Dana said suddenly.

Logan had no idea what she was talking about. He couldn't recall anything before the moment she said she was leaving. She was staring into his eyes though, her head tilted ever so slightly upward because he was just barely taller than her. He guessed and asked in a voice that sounded a little bit lower than normal, "Wanna make out?"

Dana smirked again and pondered out loud, "Well…this could very well be my last opportunity and you did say I'd regret it if I didn't. I don't want to have any regrets, so what could be the harm in giving it a try? I mean, even if we ever do see each other again or if anyone ever asks it's not like I'm going to admit to it. So…sure."

"Seriously?" Logan had to check. Dana simply nodded. Logan was stunned though and he stayed completely stationary.

Dana stayed in her spot about a foot away from him, waiting. Finally she sighed and said, "Well…"

"What?" Logan asked as if he had no idea what she could possibly be talking about.

"I agreed," Dana reminded him getting angry now because it was as if he hadn't even been listening to anything she said.

"Huh?" Logan asked with his brows furrowed. He had heard everything that she said, his mind was still hearing her agree, but not so much listening to her or noticing her at the moment.

Dana was fed up so she caved. "Fine," she said as quickly closed the space between them as she grabbed the front of his shirt and pushed him slightly to the side into the door jam on the side that had the door's hinges and kissed him. She kissed him hard and rough, and she was pressed into him so much that the door jam was probably going to leave a mark in his back. But he didn't care. His senses seemed to quickly come back to him as he immediately returned the kiss and held her firmly to him by wrapping his arms around her waist.

In the minute that they made out the nature of the kiss seemed to somehow change from the hard and rough that Dana started, to slow and tender. Dana was the one to pull away. It suddenly occurred to her that she had been running late before her encounter with Logan so she was probably very late now. As soon as their lips parted their entanglement broke as well. Dana looked to her feet, her cheeks caring the faintest shade of pink.

Logan didn't know she was looking down because he too had his eyes transfixed downward. It was just weird. He knew not only would that be his last kiss with her, but his only one ever. It was just…an odd situation for him.

Dana took a step sideways toward the opening of the door. She finally looked back up and decided to try and evaporate any awkwardness. "You know," she began and Logan looked up and met her eyes, "I'm going to come back here and kill you if you ever tell anyone about this."

"Like you'd know," Logan retorted with a smirk.

"Of course I'd know, I'm smarter than you," Dana replied with a smile as she took another step to the opening of the door and pushed it forward opening it. She was lit up from behind again and really smiling at him as she said with her eyes still on his, "Bye Logan."

"Bye," Logan returned quickly as she disappeared into the bright white light outside and the door swung shut behind her. His eyes stayed on the place she had been for a minute longer. He could still see her there, smiling at him, but she wasn't there. He finally turned his head from staring at the spot she had been and everything faded.

Logan awoke to find he was not at Sushi Rox but in his own bed. And it seemed like just a second ago his back was sore from having hinges pressed into it. And just a second ago that her lips were against his. And just a second ago that she was there, with him. But none of that was real. In reality he had never kissed her.

He glanced at his clock to see that it said five A.M. and turned over in his bed. He closed his eyes to drift off to sleep again. He smiled as memories of the dream came flooding back to him, because this dream was far from the last, this dream had a good goodbye.

Logan had been plagued by the dreams for five nights now, but no one had noticed that anything was bothering him, not that he would admit it if they did. But today was different. It was Saturday, the day after the night with the good goodbye and it took until lunch for someone to notice.

After Logan got up and left the gang, Lola commented, "Someone must have had a prozac breakfast."

"What?" Zoey quickly asked voicing everyone's confusion.

"Logan," Lola replied thinking that from there her meaning was obvious. Since Zoey, Quinn, Michael, and Chase were still wearing flummoxed expressions she elaborated, "He's been all smiley today. It kind of reminded me of Nicole. So either he's suddenly adapted her cheery disposition, he's on something, or something's going on with him that, I at least, have no idea about."

After a second of thought Zoey said, "She's right he has been in an unusually good mood today. And yesterday he was completely the opposite."

"Maybe he has a split personality," Quinn said nonchalantly as she finished off her pudding cup.

Ignoring Quinn's suggestion for the moment at least, Chase said, "Well, that I know of, there's nothing new going on with him."

"I've got no clue," Michael said answering everyone's unanswered question about his knowledge.

After a beat of silence Lola asked, "Should we try to find out what's going on?"

They considered it, but Chase was the first to conclude, "It's only been two days. If it continues then probably, but right now I think it's too soon to jump to conclusions and think that something's going on."

Everyone nodded in agreement and they continued with their lunch.

Logan's good mood lasted the rest of the day and everyone noticed, but still didn't say anything. What they didn't know and he didn't realize was that he had had a dream about a good goodbye, about a kiss that was out of impulse and ultimately rather meaningless in the dream since a goodbye still followed. But in reality Logan was elated all day because of a kiss that didn't exist and never strayed from his thoughts.

A good goodbye, a kiss from her, he definitely wanted more of those and maybe next time the kiss wouldn't be so meaningless and the goodbye nonexistent. He could at least pray, or maybe, hopefully, he could dream.

* * *

**A/N: I'd like to leave you with the next chapter title, but I'm still undecided. As for a teaser…well, does Logan seem like a very quick to catch on type of guy? Yeah, not to me either. Some trial and error is in store before he figures out exactly what he wants and needs. Once he does, eventually (chapters later) he will hopefully figure out that none of this is actually about him. **

**I hope that keeps you intrigued. **

**Thank you for reading and please leave your thoughts, I'd love to hear them. **

**-Sarah**


	4. 3: Thoughts Of Her

**A/N: Thank you greatly, again, to the wonderful people who reviewed!**

I'm sorry that this is coming out later than I said. I've just been very busy. In about a month I'm going to take the CSET for the first time. It's a very difficult exam that I'm taking in order to get into a graduate school Masters and teaching credential program. I'm taking it in Social Sciences so I can be a history teacher and it covers a ton of material that I've had to review for.

Actually, on that note, so yeah, I'm going to be a history teacher and I'm going to start throwing in a bit of history at the beginning of each of these chapters as a little educational side note. High school history text books usually fail to make most things sound interesting, which sucks because if they would just try and not be so…annoyingly similar, the books would actually show that history is fascinating.

For instance, during the time of the Roman Empire (more than two hundred years after Augusts' rule ended) there was a popular historical writer named Plutarch and he wrote of Cleopatra in 41 B.C. He was talking of her as she arrived to meet a married Mark Antony for the first time (it was when their affair began) and he said of her: "For her actual beauty, it is said, was not in itself so remarkable that none could be struck by it, but the force of her presence was irresistible. Her physical attraction, together with the charm of her conversation, and the character in everything she said or did, was something bewitching." Awesome compliment, right? So, when I first read that my answer to that question, "If you could have dinner with anyone, dead or alive, who would it be?" my answer officially changed to Cleopatra. I'd love to learn how to become "irresistible" and "bewitching." Anyone else with me on that?

That's enough history for now. **On to the chapter...**

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**Chapter 3: Thoughts Of Her**

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She was there again. As soon as he drifted off to sleep she was there again. She was sitting at their usual table wearing the same black skirt and white shirt and picking at the same banana nut muffin.

Having spent the entire day with the same moment from the last dream playing in his head, Logan's immediate actions in this dream were rather predictable. He walked right up to Dana. He ignored the distant look that he had noticed in the last dream and he skipped over stealing her food and calling her a name as he had done in the bad dream and in reality. Instead, Logan walked right up to Dana, dropped his tray of food on the table next to hers, which startled her and made her look up and once she did he crushed his lips onto hers. It was all in an instant that he was suddenly holding her face in his hands and pressing his lips to hers, but she wasn't kissing back and in even less time than it took him to make the quick move, she was hitting at him and trying to pull away.

She roughly forced his hands from her face and wiped at her mouth furiously as she stood to get away from him and yelled angrily, "What the hell Logan?"

Logan was completely confused. Why wasn't this okay? It was a dream, his dream, wasn't he supposed to be able to do what he wanted?

Logan was slapped out of his confusion, literally.

"Try that again and I'll hit you a hell of a lot harder," Dana threatened before storming off.

Logan awoke. It was still dark in his room, but he didn't bother checking the time. This was not how he was expecting his night to go. Why couldn't he just have the good dream again? Why couldn't he go to sleep with a thought in his head and actually have the dream turn out the way he wanted?

The next time Logan woke up it was to the sound of his alarm, which he roughly hit off. When he fell back to sleep after possibly hours of wondering about the dreams, Logan didn't dream of her again, or at all actually. So when he woke up and found it time to head to a dreaded Sunday football practice, he wasn't at all in a good mood. Why he could possibly be having these reoccurring dreams of her was starting to drive him insane, but so was not dreaming of her.

Logan took out some of his aggression on a few of his teammates during practice leaving them a bit more bruised sore than usual. Michael was on the team too and while he had been lucky enough to escape Logan's wrath, he did notice Logan's sudden switch in demeanor. Maybe Quinn was on to something with the whole split personality thing, because as far as they had noticed his last two days had been bad mood, good mood, and then today bad mood again. But Michael wasn't about to approach him about it, not on a day when he was in a bad mood because he didn't want to end up as hurt as his teammates.

But Logan's bad mood continued because he didn't change in the dreams. The dreams weren't exactly the same again. He was still always back at that day, but his objective in them now was always the same and he always went about it in the same poorly thought out way. He would just kiss her, he did try different times in the dream, but it never changed the outcome of his sudden kiss. She would never kiss back and he would always get hit.

He got slapped hard five times and two times when she had the opportunity she kneed him. It was one time each night and now officially a week since the good dream and nine days since the last time he dreamt of the day the way it actually happened and twelve days since the dreams invaded his sleep. Right after she would hit him she would leave and he would always wake up. No matter what time it was when he woke up and how many hours more of sleep he actually got afterwards, he would never have the dream again.

Logan didn't know what was going on. If the dream of her was good then he didn't mind it plaguing his dreams every night, but if it was just going to be him getting hit every night then he didn't want to dream it anymore. But how do you stop having a reoccurring dream? He was actually more interested in getting it back to be good, but mostly he was tired of dreaming of striking out and he wanted something to change.

After a couple of days of thought, on Saturday when a week had passed since the good dream and he had taken seven days of hits, Logan decided to ask Chase for advice. Chase could be smart and insightful, plus Logan knew plenty of embarrassing things about him so if Chase happened to discover what Logan was really talking about, what was really going on, he had plenty of blackmail material so that no one else would learn the truth.

Around five Michael left the boys dorm and headed to meet his date at the movies. It was a first date and Logan wasn't sure how long it was going to last because Lola had tried to warn Michael that the girl that asked him out was complete psycho, but no one else had known her to be insane so Michael didn't listen to her advice to not go and went anyway. As soon as Logan saw Michael leave the building from their window he said to Chase who was at his computer, "Hey, uh, can I ask your opinion on something?"

"I'm not picking out which picture of you looks better again Logan," Chase said without turning around from his computer.

"No that's not it," Logan said promptly and seriously.

Chase swiveled around in his chair to face his very uncharacteristically serious roommate on the couch. Logan seemed uncomfortable and shifted slightly in his seat. He was avoiding looking up at Chase and Chase knew that this must be something important because at this moment he didn't even recognize his long time friend. "Alright, what's up?" Chase asked trying to sound casual despite the fact that he figured this would be a very significant conversation.

Logan managed to access some of his usual bravado and looked up at Chase as he tried to explain without actually revealing the truth, "Let's say, hypothetically, that I was having a reoccurring dream. And one time this dream was really bad, but one time it was really good. And I try to repeat the really good part, but it never works out to be really good anymore. What's the problem? Why can't it be good again?"

Chase was baffled. He was expecting Logan to reveal something about an illness or likewise serious forever life changing situation. But a reoccurring dream? Really? Then again, this was the most serious he had ever seen Logan after seven years of knowing him so he tried to carefully consider the question. After a minute of thought Chase offered the only thing he could come up with from the information Logan was supplying, "Well, maybe you're missing something. Like you said you try to repeat the good part, but was there more good parts? Or other factors to the good part? I don't know man, I mean without details I can't really…figure out much."

Chase had semi trailed off because Logan didn't seem to be listening completely by the time he mentioned details. Logan was considering what Chase had said. Surprisingly, without actually having to give anything away, Chase might have come up with something useful. After all, that good dream had had other differences in it beside the kiss. And now that he thought about it, it was her that decided to and actually did kiss him. And they had been packing stuff up in the same room without bickering. And they didn't start the morning with insults. And she told him, willingly, that she wouldn't be coming back. He was nice, well nicer, in the good dream and it had worked out well in the end, very well.

Logan was brought out of his thoughts by Chase's continued advice, "Overall though-hypothetically of course-if someone was having a reoccurring dream, then I'd tell them that they need to figure out why. I mean, obviously they're having this dream because it's trying to tell them something, so for it to stop they need to figure out why they're having it."

Stop? Logan's mind stuck on the idea for a second. He hadn't actually considered stopping the dreams or wanting them to stop; he just didn't want them to be bad anymore. He did want to know why he was suddenly dreaming of her, but he never considered that discovering why may make the dreams stop.

Knowing that he was doing something out of character and arousing suspicion with his "hypothetical" scenario, Logan stood up and said as he crossed the room to the door, "Thanks. That should help. Well, I'm off. I'm going to go take credit for your advice when I give it to the person who really needs it."

Chase watched Logan make a quick exit from the room and he knew that what Logan said was very Logan like, but his suspicion wasn't quelled as Logan would have hoped. Six hours later Chase's suspicion that the situation wasn't so hypothetical for Logan was only further confirmed because Logan went to bed…early.

Michael had recently returned from his date and noticed Logan's unusually early bed time as well, only he didn't know about the imaginary situation Logan had pitched to Chase so he felt the need to ask questions. Eyeing Logan rather confused from the couch as he paused his video game, Michael asked Logan, "You're going to bed already?"

"Yeah," Logan responded as if it should have been obvious since he was climbing into bed.

"But it's only eleven and it's a Saturday night," Michael continued, because Logan never went to bed before midnight on a Saturday night.

"Yeah. Goodnight," Logan said shortly, playing it off as if he didn't understand Michael's point, and turning over to face away to the wall so any further questions may be deterred.

Despite the fact that the tack worked and no more questions were asked of him, Logan had a great deal of trouble falling asleep. He was riddled with anxiousness and the noise and light from Michael and Chase's video game wasn't helping. But eventually the video game was turned off, the light and noise gone, and he was able to sleep, to dream.

He was back at that same cool day in May and he was approaching her at the table again. Logan had figured out that what led to the kiss on the good day was his behavior. He hadn't been completely un-annoying, but he was nicer and in return she told him she was leaving, which led to the kiss. So, with that realization Logan hoped that his actions in his dream would change so that things between them could be good again.

His actions did change. He sat in his usual spot at the table-across from her-but this time he greeted her with, "Morning."

Dana looked up from her breakfast and at him like he had just done something completely insane, because such a nice greeting was completely unheard of for them. After a beat she responded because she didn't know what to make of it, "Yeah."

As usual Logan semi listened to the breakfast conversation and he wrote down fake numbers in Nicole's notebook again. But unusually, he didn't pay as much attention to his breakfast. He kept looking up at her and every time he met her eyes, completely caught in his stolen glances; he'd give her one of his trademark smirks.

By the end of breakfast Dana was utterly perplexed. Yeah, Logan flirted a lot, he couldn't seem to help it, but the nice greeting, the staring, and the smirking was just weird.

After agreeing to help the girls pack when they asked for his help, Logan was detained from following the rest of the gang by Dana's vice like grip on his bicep.

Logan turned as much as he could once he felt her restraining grip on him. He smirked and said, "You are free to touch me as much as you want, really I'd like it if you touch me more, but just don't cut off my circulation."

Dana's face quickly turned to one of disgust as she not only released his arm but shoved him slightly to increase the space between them. "Just tell me what you're trying to do so I can get away from you," Dana said tiredly.

"I'm not trying to do anything," Logan said with real innocence because as far as he had realized, he wasn't actually trying to do anything. The Logan having the dream had wanted another dream of a kiss and he had realized what lead to the dream kiss in the first place. But the Logan in the dream just knew that he was being a bit nicer that day and so far it felt good. On the note of being nicer though, Logan requested, "Oh, but I am going to need what you gave to Nicole. You know your phone numbers and e-mail."

Dana's eyebrow arched curiously. Yeah right he wasn't up to something. "Why?" she asked simply.

Why? That was actually a good question. Logan wasn't sure. He just found himself asking for it all of a sudden, he found himself wanting the option to talk to her. Since he wasn't really sure why he had asked for her number, he answered simply and rather immaturely, "Because."

She rolled her eyes at his non-answer and continued to question him, "You know you can't make out over the phone or e-mail and since you think of nothing else why could you possibly want my number and e-mail? Are you going to prank call me because like the six year old you are you still think that's funny? Or are you going to fill my inbox with spam because it would frustrate me?"

Logan couldn't help his response; it was just in the nature of his dirty mind to turn everything into something raunchy. "Well, making out over the phone may not be possible, but there are other things that can be done over the phone," he replied with a suggestive wink.

Dana's face once again contorted to one of disgust. Twice she had now done this in the two whole minutes she was talking to him and she knew further conversation wouldn't differ. "Ew, ew, ew," she muttered as she turned and left for her dorm.

Logan kept his distance as he followed her to her dorm. But he didn't really give her a break from his sudden interest in her because his eyes followed her intently and he knew she could feel him watching by the tenseness of her walk.

Logan spent the afternoon being very active in helping the girls pack and helping Nicole's parents load their car once they arrived. He relaxed and had fun hanging out with his friends, making jokes and spending a very long time mocking their resident advisor. He even assisted Michael in helping Quinn when she asked for aid.

These much nicer than normal, yet done so casually actions, did not go unnoticed to Dana. Once Logan was away with Quinn she had to go make some stops around the school, but if/when she saw him again she knew what she was going to do. She told herself that she was probably going to regret it later and that his behavior today was probably a fluke, but much to her confusion and annoyance, she found herself wanting to go through with it anyway.

Dana got her chance to do what she had decided when Logan appeared at Sushi Rox, from what she had gathered to get his check, while she was there to say goodbye. Now, she was going to say another goodbye. She approached him quickly, not giving herself the time to back down. She reached into the pocket in her skirt and pulled out a piece of paper. "Here," she said holding it out.

Logan had been looking at her slightly confused. First he found her hugging Kazu and then she's giving him something…that was unusual. He took the paper and read it. It was her name, numbers, and e-mail.

Before he could ask anything she explained, "I'm not coming back next fall and I don't know if I ever will be." She was surprised that his eyes instantly grew to a mixture of shock and disappointment. She continued, "My parents, they signed me up to study abroad so I'll be in Paris next August. So I figured this is probably my last time seeing you and I might as well be nice and give you what you asked for." He was quiet, but he kept looking at her like he was trying to decide what say first, but suddenly she was afraid of some of the things that could be said and she continued again, "Don't feel obligated to use any of them or anything. Just, if you ever do want to use them and not just to annoy me…I'll write back if you e-mail me and I'll talk to you if I can if you call. Only if I don't have anything better to do of course, which I'm sure I will."

She had turned things back to normal on him. The banter, the dislike, still there despite the nice gesture. Somehow everything was different and everything was the same all at once. He didn't want her to go and he didn't care that she was going, but what he found weird was that he was having the first felling at all. He didn't know what the right thing to say was, but taking his lead from her he tried to be normal and nice all at once, "I'll have better things to do too, but I'll use these anyway."

Awkwardness almost had the chance to settle between them, but Dana realized that it wouldn't get the chance because she said, "Okay, um, I'm already late. I was supposed to be out of here ten minutes ago." She walked to the door and pushed it open easily and just like the first dreams, the real day, she paused, turned and said with a wave and what could only be described as a sad smile, "Goodbye Logan."

Logan replied quickly, "Bye." His tone was somewhat surprised because her departure seemed sudden now. He knew they would be separating for summer as he was with all of his friends, but unexpectedly he was separating from her forever and she left his life so abruptly as he watched her disappear in the blinding sunlight of outside. The door shut and Sushi Rox returned to its darkness.

Logan awoke to find himself in another dark room, his. The clock read just before four and from a glance across the room he could tell his roommates were still sleeping soundly. It was weird, but despite the fact that the dream did not include a kiss, he didn't feel like it was a bad dream. There wasn't a kiss, but there wasn't a hit. And that moment where she gave him a way to stay with her and told him that she was leaving, it was something he would have liked to have in real life. He would have liked a real goodbye even if it was as brief and sudden as the one in the dream he just awoke from.

Logan resettled in his bed and let out a sigh. It wasn't a bad dream. For those last few minutes with her it was oddly…something, something he didn't recognize and couldn't pin point. And as he laid in bed staring at his dark ceiling, he thought about the dream. A feeling crept up on him like a spider climbing up his spine. If he had gotten the kiss, he wasn't sure if it would have made the dream perfect. It definitely would have made the dream better and good like the dream with the kiss before, but it felt like it still might not be enough. He felt like there was something else he wanted to happen in the dreams; he just didn't know what that was. Maybe whatever it is may have something to do with why he was having the dreams in the first place.

Logan counted the days and realized that he had just had his thirteenth dream about her. And everyday since the dreams began had been consumed with thoughts of her. There had to be a reason why he was suddenly always dreaming of her. There was a reason that Logan was having the dreams of her and with every day that passed it became more vital for him to figure out why, there was only so long she could hang on.

* * *

**A/N: **Anyone notice the change in the writing? Yeah, I know some of you were probably thinking when you found that that I had actually made a mistake, but nope, I intended to do that because it is significant for what is actually going on. 

**Next chapter** is probably, but not certainly, going to be titled Reason Why. Not only will Logan figure out why he's having the dreams, but with a single act he will arise a great deal of concern from his friends, but not as much as he will later.

To those of you reading _**Discovering Us**_, I have finally updated my progress on the next chapter on my profile and I will try to continue to remember to do that regularly so anytime you want to find out how it's coming along you can just go there. Or you can always ask me on AIM (sn on my profile), I've been on semi-frequently lately and I'm friendly so feel free to ask questions if you so desire.

**Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed the chapter!**

**-Sarah**


	5. 4: When You're Gone

**A/N: Wow, it certainly has been a long time since I've updated this. I'm so terribly sorry. My last year as an undergrad was quite hectic. But I graduated almost three weeks ago and while I'm still celebrating that fact, I also found the time to start writing again. There's more information about the status of any of my stories or any writing I may do on my profile. **

**I know in my last beginning author's note for this story I mentioned adding brief historical information to the start of every chapter (since teaching history is soon going to be my career), but I'm going to skip that this time because it is summer and everyone deserves at least a small break. **

**Quick Re-Cap:**** Once Logan got a kiss in his dream (chapter two) he was over-eager in his following dreams. His actions in his dreams, though the motivations were unknown to dream him, reflected his real life desire to have a good dream (i.e. with a kiss). But, with a cryptic question to Chase and a helpful answer, Logan realized the dream him had to behave better if he wanted a better ending. To see where all of this is going: read on, and read the note at the bottom. **

**Warning****: This chapter begins already in a dream.**

* * *

**Chapter 4: When You're Gone**

* * *

"You know, me saying that I had things to do wasn't an invitation for you to follow me," Dana informed Logan who suddenly appeared beside her.

"First of all, I'm not following, I'm accompanying, there's a difference. Plus, we both know that you always want me around, everyone does, I'm irresistible," Logan replied with a smirk and wondering exactly where he was following Dana to. It was the end of the year, where could she possibly need to go on the last day of school? Oh, crap, he forgot, he actually needed to go to Sushi Rox; he forgot about the half day he worked that he still hadn't picked up a paycheck for.

"Yeah, irresistible, repulsive, no difference at all," Dana commented sarcastically.

Logan was going to retort, but he noticed where they were headed and asked, "Why are you going to the English building? Classes are over; everything's over it's the last day."

"No crap Einstein, that's why I spent all that time packing today," Dana responded, resorting to sarcasm this time to avoid giving an actual answer.

They reached the door to the media room that was Mr. Bender's class and Dana came to a stop. She turned around to come face to face with Logan and said with an appropriately menacing voice, "If you follow me into that room I promise you that the next thing you know you'll be waking up in the hospital."

Logan didn't like to admit ever being intimidated, but when Dana went through the door to the classroom he made absolutely no move to follow. As he waited though, he realized that Dana didn't say that he couldn't continue to follow her once she came out of the classroom, she just said he couldn't go in.

Four minutes after she entered, Dana came out of Mr. Bender's class looking not at all surprised to find Logan still there. It was as if she knew Logan would wait for her, she didn't know why though and it was starting to bug her.

After Logan followed Dana to the guidance counseling office where she stopped to pick up an extra copy of her transcripts and to the gym where she stopped to say goodbye to her now former basketball coach she couldn't take not knowing why he was still there. She was determinedly marching towards Sushi Rox, her last stop, when her curiosity got the best of her and she was unable to ignore the issue and Logan any longer. She whirled around to him since he was following her and demanded, "Why are you still here?"

Logan simply shrugged and replied, "Don't have anything else to do."

Dana shook her head in frustration; Logan's response didn't seem like a real explanation. She looked up to find his eyes on her. He just stood a couple of steps away from her and looked in her eyes for about a minute. And then the thought passed through her mind that maybe he was with her because he just wanted to be with her. Surprising herself, she didn't hate that idea as much she thought she would.

Dana sighed and glanced toward her destination and said, "Come on, I need to go talk to Kazu." She turned back around to start walking, but before she took a step in the right direction she turned back around to Logan and added, "And when I'm done with Kazu, I need to tell you something."

Logan nodded. He had no idea what she would need to tell him, but she seemed pretty serious and that wasn't normal for them so he responded, "I already know what you're gonna say. You want to make out with me before we head our separate ways for summer. I knew you couldn't resist."

Dana turned around, opened the door to Sushi Rox, and entered as she replied, "If you manage to wait out here why I go find Kazu and say goodbye then sure, Logan, maybe I won't be able to resist doing something you'll enjoy." She didn't mean it, but she wanted Logan to stay put out in the restaurant while she looked for and said goodbye to Kazu in the back. She figured promising reward was the only way to get Logan to do anything.

Logan didn't manage to verbalize a response by the time Dana left the room, heading into the kitchen as he stood immobile just steps into the front entrance. Summer only lasted about two and half months-a fact that majorly sucked- and Dana wasn't the mushy-feely type, she wouldn't be doing these big goodbyes over such a small amount of time.

And then it hit him. In a very serious tone, something that was foreign to everything they ever were, she said she had something to tell him and he had followed her all day as she had apparently been saying goodbye to people. She wouldn't be doing any of that over a two and a half month break; she wasn't coming back in the fall and maybe she wouldn't be coming back ever.

He was anxious and just a bit terrified by the time she came back three minutes later. All thoughts of his paycheck had long left his mind. He had only known her since September, for nine months, and they weren't close, they weren't even really friends. Yet, he didn't like the idea of her not coming back. He couldn't swallow and there was a dull ache in his chest and…damnit, she was going to leave him.

He couldn't take a step in her direction the entire time she crossed the room to come back to the exact same spot she had left him in. His eyes never left hers as she made her way to him and what was unnerving was that they didn't hold a hint of the pompous jerk she had come to barely tolerate. He was supposed to immediately make some crack about them making out since he had done exactly as she asked. But he wasn't doing that; he was quiet and serious and he was making her nervous about saying goodbye. She didn't expect it to be this difficult to say goodbye to a guy that she spent the year mostly hating.

After about a minute of silence passed between them, due to the fact that neither could find the right words, Logan finally said, "You're not coming back next year."

It was a statement rather than a question. She was relieved he had figured it out. She had said it so many times today and with him not being completely horrible she was finding it difficult to say those words yet again, she was finding it difficult to say them to him. She nodded and explained, "My parents signed me up for the abroad program in Paris." She continued and let something slip to him that she hadn't told anyone, "They think if I'm far enough away from them I won't know how much they fight due to the fact that my dad can't manage to be faithful for more than a week." Her confession surprised her, as well as his look of concern so she babbled on, "I don't know why I said that. Ignore it. It's fine. I mean they're screwed up so I get to go to Paris, lucky me."

The fact that she was actually babbling had him genuinely worried and desperate to make her better so he could feel better. Without thinking he blurted out, "I'm going to miss you."

Her eyes widened in surprise, eyebrows shot up to her hairline, and her shock immediately compelled her to ask, "Really?"

As Logan mentally cursed his stupidity he responded honestly, "Yeah. And believe me, that surprises me as much as it does you, but it's true. I mean, we haven't even made out yet. You may have said never, but I know you'd give in eventually. I guess there won't be an eventually now."

"Again, lucky me. I won't have to suffer the inevitable self-loathing if that situation had ever occurred," she said, carrying on with the light-hearted nature he had supplied as an escape from the seriousness of the entire situation.

"Yeah, I'm not going to miss your snarky comments as you turn me down, but like I said, you'd give in eventually. Sure you've managed to resist my charm a lot longer than any other girl, but you would have succumbed," Logan restated with a smirk as he finally managed to move his feet and take a step toward Dana, eliminating some of the two feet of distance between them.

Dana realized that she was probably just messed up enough to actually miss his unrelenting ego. She smiled as she responded, "Well, I'm leaving so I guess I can let you hang on to that delusion."

He nodded. He didn't know what to say-again. This was weird, he had never thought about having to say goodbye to her and now he was. He scraped for something to say and came up with another comment to lighten the mood, "I guess I'll have to call you once in a while so I can see if you ever really change your mind."

"You can ask, but I'm not sure you'd like the outcome," Dana responded, keeping up with what was expected. She added, "But you know, it probably wouldn't suck if you called sometimes."

"Yeah, I'll do that," he promised.

Silence settled over them again. It was an awkward silence that resulted in Logan staring at his shoes and Dana realizing she probably needed to get going. A glance to her watch confirmed her suspicion because actually she was late.

She didn't have time to hesitate so she announced, his eyes meeting hers again as soon as she spoke, "I'm supposed to be gone already so…um, I should go."

"Already?" the question slipped before he could sensor himself.

"Yeah, my taxi should have been here about five minutes ago, my flight leaves in a little while, and I still have to go grab the rest of my stuff from my room," she explained.

He nodded, glancing to the ground again, looking more forlorn at her departure than she would have ever expected.

She took a couple of steps toward the door, but stopped. This was quite possibly the last time she would ever see him, and yeah, he had been nearly intolerable all year, but he had also been pretty great that day. She returned to him quickly, grabbed him by the shirt and kissed him before she could change her mind.

Despite his shock Logan managed to respond after a couple of seconds. He wrapped his arms around her holding on tight as if he was never going to let her go.

But he did. About a minute after the kiss was deepened, she pulled away because she still had to leave.

Before another awkward silence could settle over them Logan couldn't resist saying, "I told you you'd give in."

She nodded and responded with a smile, "Yep, and now the self-loathing can commence."

They were both smiling, clearly not very serious about what they were saying, but doing so because they were ignoring what happened; the kiss, its randomness, and the heat and spark of it.

Dana headed for the door again. This time she actually made it there. She pulled it open, turned around, and said, "Bye Logan."

She was lit up by the bright light of the early evening, late spring sun like she had been in upon her departure in most of his dreams. He managed to get his farewell out while she was still there this time though, but he stared at the spot she was once in for a long while after she left just like he always did.

Logan awoke to the harsh sound of his alarm clock. After swatting it off he laid back in his bed. It had been a week since he had taken Chase's advice and tried to be a better guy to her in the dreams so he could have a better outcome. He had gotten some smiles, hugs, and pecks on the cheek, but that kiss in his last dream was the first kiss he got since the kiss in the second changed dream he had. He didn't like to keep track of the dreams too much though, because if he did he would realize that it was the twentieth consecutive dream he had had of her.

One thing had been plaguing at Logan though and it occupied his thoughts again this day, even throughout Saturday football practice. There was a song playing faintly over the speakers while they were at Sushi Rox. He could hear it as he waited for her and whenever silences settled between them. It had happened two other times in the last week when they were there in the dream and he was pretty sure it was always the same song. He could hear it clearly in the dream, but when he woke up and tried to remember it he could only barely hear it in his head. He knew it was being sung be a woman, he knew he didn't like it, but he couldn't figure out what it was or why it was suddenly in the dreams with them. He fumbled two passes trying to recall the lyrics reasoning that they probably had some significance.

Logan was even spaced out as he had dinner with his friends at Sushi Rox that night. They had noticed Logan had been a bit out of it lately and Michael and Chase had also noticed that he was going to bed about an hour earlier than usual. But as usual he was also cocky, annoying, and slacking on his schoolwork so no one had taken the initiative to be truly concerned since sometimes everything seemed perfectly fine.

Michael was telling him, Lola, Nicole and Quinn some joke about animals while Chase and Zoey were in their own oblivious little world. Logan had actually managed to be listening to the set up, but before Michael made it to the punch line something sucked him away from the present again.

"_Hold onto love that is what I do now that I've found you," _

It was the song in Logan's dream and it had suddenly and loudly started playing over the speakers of Sushi Rox, the same place it played in his dreams.

"What is this song?" he asked Zoey, interrupting her conversation with Chase.

It could barely be heard over the loud crowd in the restaurant, but after a second of straining Zoey was able to respond, "It's 'When You're Gone' by The Cranberries. Why?"

"It's familiar, " He answered simply.

"Oh, that's probably because of eighth grade. Dana loved The Cranberries, she'd listen to them all the time. Usually very loudly so that the rest of us would hear even if we didn't want to," Zoey supplied. She was a little surprised that Logan would recognize one of the many songs Dana would listen to frequently, but then again, she only knew the song because of Dana. Which reminded her, Dana had never returned her last message, she'd have to call her again.

Logan had stayed turned toward Zoey and Chase at their end of the table as Zoey's thoughts strayed due to the topic. He wasn't looking at them, he seemed to be thinking rather hard, his brow furrowed in an attempt at concentration in the loud eatery. He wasn't looking at them either. The arbitrary and serious nature of it all had Chase and Zoey growing concerned-the rest of the table obliviously laughing at the joke Michael made.

Logan stood suddenly and rushed out of the restaurant, almost knocking over the chair he was sitting in, in the process.

Chase and Zoey exchanged confused glances before attempting to explain why Logan had stormed out to the questioning expressions of the rest of the group.

Logan raced back to his dorm room, to his computer. He figured that song was supposed to tell him something. Because while nothing about him having dreams of Dana Cruz every night made sense, every change in them meant something in the dreams. So he searched for the song and the lyrics; he pushed play as he read along with the lyrics.

_Hold onto love that is what I do now that I've found you._

_And from above everything's stinking, they're not around you._

_And in the night, I could be helpless,_

_I could be lonely, sleeping without you._

_And in the day, everything's complex,_

_There's nothing simple, when I'm not around you._

_But I'll miss you when you're gone, that is what I do. Hey, baby._

_And it's going to carry on, that is what I do. Hey, baby..._

_Hold onto my hands, I feel I'm sinking, sinking without you._

_And to my mind, everything's stinking, stinking without you._

_And in the night, I could be helpless,_

_I could be lonely, sleeping without you._

_And in the day, everything's complex,_

_There's nothing simple, when I'm not around you._

_But I'll miss you when you're gone, that is what I do. Hey, baby._

_And it's going to carry on, that is what I do. hey, baby..._

Logan re-played the song, read the lyrics again, but the answer seemed clear. He was dreaming about a girl every night, he was going to bed earlier to be with her a bit longer, as impossible as it seemed he missed her. And in his dreams she always left and Dream Logan missed her too, but maybe Dream Logan didn't have to. Maybe in his dreams she didn't have to be gone, he just had to ask her to stay. He hoped, prayed, and whished that he was right because he was learning more with each passing night that he had missed out on something potentially great here in reality. But in his dreams maybe she could still be his.

It was the fact that Logan had desperate hopes for a fantasy that didn't simply have a better goodbye than reality, but a better ending than reality, that Chase found his roommate in bed at eight o'clock on a Saturday night, his eyes shut and seemingly asleep. Chase had come in search of him, to check up on him due to everyone's worry over his sudden disappearance. When Chase would tell his friends how he found Logan, they would only worry more.

Yet Logan wasn't asleep as everyone would think, he was only fiercely trying to fall asleep. He wanted to get to that place where he was with the girl he only recently realized he always wanted. Maybe in his dreams he could have what he wanted, if only Dream Logan could figure out a way to make her stay.

* * *

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed the chapter. I promise that this story is going somewhere, somewhere unexpected actually. At the end of the next chapter ****everything will change****. The length of the chapters, however, should remain about this long-much much shorter than my story Discovering Us and easier to make quick updates. **

**Oh, and another ****hint****-sort of- the thing that was different about the writing last chapter, is still different this chapter and it is relevant to the surprise that's coming up. **

**For how frequently I may be ****updating**** anything I'm writing please check my profile, which I plan to update regularly. Also, this story is a priority since it's only three (maybe four) chapters from being finished (I think). **

**PLEASE review as I would love to hear what you thought of the chapter and so that I know if anyone at all is still interested in this story. **

**And again, I'm sorry for the lack of updates on everything of mine. I promise that I do work on updating whenever I get the opportunity. **

**-Sarah**


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